Monday, April 9, 2007
2 days. 48 hours.
Hello everyone, it's Ariel here.
I read Waimin and Grace's blogs just now. I have this sudden urge to blog about SYF and el here. After reading their entries, I started to wonder about my love for el and my hopes for this current SYF.
I don't know if we're taking this seriously. I wouldn't admit that I'm giving my 100% into the rehearsals, giving my best shot for everything. I hope it's not too late to be making amends right now. I don't hope it's too late to be reflecting on this. I still hope for a Gold. Yes I still want a Gold. Not that a Silver is lousy. But a Gold is something which I've wanted since sec 1.
Ever since sec 1, I knew that el couldn't afford to get anything lesser than Gold. I still remember the previous SYF and how the seniors cried. Trust me, it doesn't feel good to see your seniors cry terribly.
I wonder if everyone's morale is low right now. Frankly speaking, I do notice that some of us don't feel confident of getting a Silver, much less a Gold with Honours. Although Jaina Tan and Renee keep telling us that the results don't matter, in our hearts, we do recognise the need to get a Gold.
El has been struggling all these years to prove to the school that we aren't some kind of slacker club. Perhaps everyone else in RV sees us as slackers, who play stupid games in air-con rooms. In sec 1 and 2, I used to be affected by what the other people thought of our cca. And I'm ashamed to say that I ever once thought of quitting el. But the past is the past - what has been said and what has been done doesn't matter anymore. The fact is, that we have to use this SYF to prove ourselves. To prove our worth. To show the other people that EL CAN DO IT & EL DID IT. We're not some loser club like they always made us out to be.
So what if they compare us to other ccas? Just because other ccas seem to practise more often than we do, it doesn't imply that we're complacent. We do have our rehearsals and our practices. Whether or not they are sufficient, only we ourselves know.
I know we can get a Gold so long as we push ourselves to our limits tomorrow. And Wednesday's gonna be our BEST shot. We're gonna have to do it.
I don't want to quit el. I wouldn't dare say that I love el wholeheartedly throughout my years in RV. I know that I love el. And el is something that is far more important than council for me. Or class. El is el. El is, like what Grace mentioned, a place where everyone fits. No matter what your personality, what your reputation is, el is still a place where you fit in. And I know el is a place where I can be a crazy and dramatic version of myself, without being judged.
Perhaps those of you reading this might not feel the same way as me. That's okay. I know that some day, you'll feel this way as well. Perhaps you're not convinced, or that you need the passion in you.
The passion will come. I've lost it once. And I've found it again.
I'm glad that I have el. And I hope el will shine on Wednesday.
The world my stage, el my life.
